Meant To Be
by Sexy.Lil.Emo
Summary: When pon farr arises in Spock for the first time he turns to the only person he can; his Captain, James T Kirk. - Spirk - sexual content
Hey guys, so this started from a manip of Spock leaning in to kiss Kirk, and ended up being a pon farr fic. I don't claim to know everything about Star Trek, Vulcans or pon farr, so I apologise for anything thats not right. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, much love xox

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Jim had been looking over reports in his quarters when someone had knocked on his door, he sighed and got up rubbing his eyes. To his surprise it was Spock (their chess game wasn't for another two hours).

"What can I do for you Mr. Spock?"

"May I come in?" Spock asked, hands clasped behind his back.

"Of course, come in." Jim stepped aside to allow him in.

Once the door was closed Kirk turned to face his first officer and was met by Vulcan lips against his own. Spock's hands gripped his hips and lifted Jim just enough off the ground so he could carry Kirk further into the room, lips never leaving his Captain's as he did so.

Finally, Spock put Jim down on his desk and their kiss broke "Spock?" Kirk breathed but quickly found his lips occupied once more.

"Spock, wait!" He pushed at the Vulcan's chest and Spock pulled back an inch. "I thought you weren't interested in me?"

Jim had previously expressed his own interest in his first officer, but Spock had turned him down, not wanting another relationship after Nyota, nor did he apparently return the Captain's feelings. It had crushed Jim, not that he let Spock see that (instead he sought out Bones and got heavily drunk, sobbed a bit into his best friend's shoulder and then fell asleep). Jim had told him that if he wished to transfer he would understand, but Spock assured the Captain that as long as Jim remained professional and didn't cross the boundaries of their friendship then he saw no reason to transfer.

"Jim..." Spock whispered, eyes closed, the effort of holding back made him shaky.

Kirk knew something was wrong, this was not like Spock at all "What's going on Spock? Are you okay?" He was concerned for his friend.

"I-I cannot..."

"Please, let me help you." Kirk pleaded.

Spock stepped back quickly and took some deep breaths, hands clasped in front of his chest. He seemed less wild and calmer than he had a few minutes ago.

Suddenly, his eyes opened "Jim, I apologise, it had not been my intention to attack you like that. I should go."

"Spock! Wait! Please talk to me, tell me what's going on."

"I cannot, it is to do with Vulcan biology, we do not speak of it." Spock explained.

"You're not dying are you?" Jim's stomach knotted.

"Technically no, but it can kill me." Spock admitted looking away. "Jim, I do not expect anything from you, I realise I must have hurt you with rejection, for that I am sorry.

"What do you need?" Kirk asked, feeling the sting in his heart from said rejection.

It took a few moments but Spock finally spoke "What I am about to tell you is a closely guarded Vulcan secret of sorts, even we do not speak of it among ourselves." Kirk nodded "You have heard of the myth that Vulcan's only mate every seven years?" Jim nodded again "I am sure you know from Nyota that this is not true, however the myth does have an origin. From the time a Vulcan reaches puberty, at some point they will go through what is called 'pon farr' the blood fever, every seven years for the rest of their lives. I, being half human, was not sure whether I would ever undergo pon farr, but it seems the blood fever is now upon me, I have confirmed it with the other Spock."

"Okay...I'm following you, but what do you need from me?" Jim thought it must be something Spock was uncomfortable about, otherwise he would have included it in his explanation.

Spock cleared his throat "For me to survive the blood fever, I must mate and bond with someone. Preferably before I lose my logic and control."

Jim was fascinated and worried about his friend, but prepared to do anything for Spock "How long will it last?"

"It is hard to say, perhaps a few days to a week."

"So, you came here to ask me to have sex with you for the next week until this blood fever goes away?" Kirk surmised.

"Jim, it is so much more than that, I must bond with you during this time also, a bond is for life, we would always be connected by a mental link, no matter the distance." Spock could see Jim mulling it over "I-I have a confession also."

Kirk looked at him "Oh?" What else could more surprising than this?

"When you told me of your feelings towards me two months ago, I must admit that I was not completely honest with you. You see after my relationship with Nyota ended, I decided that I did not wish to continue on such an emotional path, I chose to begin the process of purging my emotions. I had already begun this process when you approached me, and I was determined to keep on that path, so I told you that I did not return your feelings. This was not true."

Jim couldn't believe what he was hearing "Are you trying to tell me that you do have romantic feelings for me?"

"Yes, for some time now, I apologise for misleading you."

"Why tell me now?"

"The arrival of pon farr, and the conversation I had with the other Spock, has changed my perspective on many things. I am convinced that I am meant to be with you, and we are meant to be bonded. I know this is a lot to take in, but I do not have a lot of time. I have no one else."

Kirk thought about it "You are not easily convinced Spock, and like you said, you were determined to purge your emotions. How do I know that you won't leave me once pon farr is over?" Despite all of Jim's flirting and record with women (and men) he was quite insecure when it came to relationships, he also had abandonment issues, which only Bones knew about. So Spock coming out of the blue with all this made Jim a little cautious.

The Vulcan saw the reluctance in his Captain's eyes, which was quite understandable for what he was asking. "Let me tell you something my older self told me. At the end of their five year mission Spock's Captain and friend, James Kirk, confessed his feelings to his first officer, and the next day Spock left for Vulcan to undergo The Ritual of Kolinahr as he did not know how to be a true Vulcan and deal with his own feelings for his Captain. As he took the final steps to purge all emotion, he thought of James Kirk and found that he could not go through with the ritual. He went looking for his Captain and they had many years together."

The meld in the cave and why that Spock had recognised him all made so much sense now. Jim's face lit up with thoughts and feelings.

"I found it most intriguing that our story has taken a similar turn." Spock confessed.

Jim knew he had been right about Spock, he knew those 'secret' glances and 'accidental' touches hadn't been his imagination. "I believe you, Spock, I am yours."

Spock's face was open, the emotion raw on his features, so many things he wanted to say but didn't know how "Taluhk nash-veh k'dular." He declared, his fingers stroked Jim's cheek.

"I know it's Vulcan, but what does it mean?" Jim asked.

"I cherish thee." Spock repeated in English.

Jim just lent in and kissed his first officer.

Spock pulled back slightly "I must warn you, Jim, pon farr will be very dangerous for you, and I will not be in my right mind. I will not hurt you, but...I am Vulcan, and your human body is not as resilient and strong as mine. You will most likely come out of this bruised, extremely sore and exhausted at best. However, I will look after you and attend to your needs once the blood fever has left me. I will need to organise with Dr. McCoy to have a variety of hypos made up as you will not be able to leave me, rather I will not allow you to leave. I do not want you to become malnourished or dehydrated, also to keep your strength up among other things."

Jim smiled at him and stroked his arm "I understand the risks and dangers, I can take it, and I want to, for you."

A smile crept onto the Vulcan's face and Jim continued "Bones will put us on sick leave and I will make sure our shifts are covered. How much time do I have?"

"A day at the most," He rung his hands as they begun to tremble. "Maybe less."

"I'll get to work then, shall I meet you in your quarters later this evening?" Jim asked thinking about what he needed to do before then.

"That plan is agreeable, as soon as possible is best though." He paused "I-Jim-I, before the blood fever overtakes me, I would like to bond, and make love to you." The tips of his pointed ears tinged green "I do not want our first coupling to be because of the need of the blood fever."

"I've never seen you embarrassed before, it's endearing." Spock's cheeks became a light shade of green. Jim chuckled.

XXX

A few hours later, Jim knocked on Spock's door, a small bag with a supply of a robe, underwear, lube, toiletries, snacks and water bottles slung over his shoulder.

Spock opened the door and allowed him to come in and put his things on a desk that Spock had cleared for him.

The Vulcan was in a robe, Jim assumed he was either naked or mostly naked under it. "Jim, I just want you to know how much I appreciate you doing this for me, and that I do care for you deeply. I got you something." Spock declared and reached behind him to pull out three roses, each a different colour, he offered one to Jim "Dark pink for 'appreciation and gratitude'"

Jim took the rose with a lovey smile and Spock offered him a second one "Yellow for the 'promise of a new beginning'"

The Captain took the second one, any doubts in his mind chased away by the beautiful fragrance of the flower.

"Thirdly; yellow with red tips for 'friendship and falling in love'" Spock announced giving the last one to Kirk who smelt each one with a slightly watery smile and then kissed Spock with as much emotion as he could put into a single kiss.

"That is probably the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me." Jim confessed and kissed his Vulcan again.

"I am glad that Mr. Sulu has a large collection of Earth plants and they just so happened to be in flower. Of course I looked up the meanings previously, and Mr. Sulu assured me that they would last at least a week. I ask, Jim, that if at any point over the next week you lose faith in me or my intentions or feelings for you, that you look upon these flowers and remember what each signifies." He had a vase with water ready and gave it to Jim who put the three roses in and set it on the desk with his things.

"I will, I won't walk out on you." Jim assured him.

Spock gave a small smile "You will want to when you hear this next part. I would like you to take one each of the hypos now to give you a head start, and then after that you will have to administer them yourself as you see fit. I am not exactly sure what is going to happen, but I have a good idea, and…and…I am scared. I wish we had had more time together before this, I am sorry for that." He drew Jim into his arms and simply held him, feeling at home in the human's arms.

"It will be okay Spock, and we will learn for next time so we can be even better prepared." He gave him a squeeze.

"I hope you will still want to be around for next time once this is over." It seemed Jim was not the only insecure one. "Now, I apologise, but I must administer these." Spock gave Jim one of each variety of the hypos he had brought.

"Ow, you're nearly as bad as Bones." Jim complained.

"I am sorry, Jim, but it is necessary." He apologised once finished and then Spock begun to kiss down Jim's neck and then he sucked on the skin leaving a big red mark on Jim's neck. He gripped Jim's shirt and it ripped up the back, the sound of it brought Spock back to his senses and he let go of Kirk. "I apologise, perhaps we should begin, if you have any questions, it is best to ask now."

"No need to apologise." Jim tugged his damaged shirt off.

"I have often admired your physique during sparring matches, I find you quite pleasing to look at." Spock confessed.

Jim chuckled "Are you trying to tell me that you think I'm hot?" He also removed his pants, leaving himself in just underwear.

"I am not sure what temperature has to do with one's physical appearance, but I believe it is a correct Earth term to apply." The entire time Spock spoke, his eyes hungrily moved over Jim's now almost naked body. He de-robed himself, and Jim found out that he was wearing underwear under the robe.

This time it was Jim's turn to look, and damn, Spock was definitely hot, and gorgeous (his cock thought so too) "I find your physique pleasing also." He commented.

Jim took the few steps between them and kissed Spock slow and gentle, nudging him back to the bed. Once Jim had crawled on top of him and turned it up a notch Spock pulled away a moment "I have another confession; I have never been with another male, the only person I have ever been intimate with is Nyota, and we did not…delve too far past basic things."

"You have had sexual intercourse before though, right?" He didn't think Spock was a virgin, but you never know.

"Yes, twelve times to be exact. My point is that I know much theory on the topic, but have learnt that the practical is quite different, as a result, I am very inexperienced." Spock admitted.

"That's alright, Spock, I can teach you a thing or two, I appreciate you telling me though." Jim lent down and begun to kiss the Vulcan again "Just follow my lead, and do what feels right."

Soon kissing led to Spock's hands touching Jim almost everywhere (including the meld points to begin the bond), and then Jim was rocking his hips into Spock and the Vulcan gasped. Jim had to admit that it felt pretty good, it had been too long since anyone had touched him but his own hand.

"I'm going to take my underwear off now." Jim warned as he sat up, Spock watched closely as he removed the garment, as soon as Jim was close enough, Spock's hands were everywhere again, this time he touched all of Jim. "Oh…" He sighed in pleasure as Spock caressed his length and balls. It was so much better than his fantasies of himself and Spock, he thought as one of Spock's hands crossed a meld point.

"You have had fantasies of us doing this?" Spock asked conversationally, and then got distracted by Jim's left nipple, drawing it into his mouth and using different methods to draw pleasing sounds from Jim's mouth.

When Spock relented, Jim answered "Oh yeah, it's the next best thing to having the real you, and it always makes it feel better to imagine that you are giving me the pleasure instead of just my hand."

Spock looked at his face and raised an eyebrow "You enjoy these fantasies during masturbation? Fascinating."

"A lot of people do it, it's a common human thing." Jim confirmed and then moaned as Spock licked the head of his cock "Mmmm…" and then took it into his mouth and repeated the motions his used on Jim's nipple not long ago, Jim inhaled sharply and swore "If you want me to make it to the sex part, you might want to slow down."

"Of course, we need lubrication then." Spock stated.

The Captain grabbed his tube of lube and made himself comfortable on his back "How about I start and you take over?"

"That would be satisfactory" Spock watched closely as Jim lubed up his fingers and touched himself, one finger slowly pushing itself inside his entrance, little groans breaking through his lips. Once two fingers were comfortable inside him, he made Spock lubricate his fingers and guided them inside himself, two at first and then three, and it felt wonderful to have Spock touching him like this.

"Take your underwear off, Spock." The Vulcan followed his instruction "Nice to see you're enjoying yourself." Jim commented upon seeing Spock's erection unobstructed. He instructed Spock to apply more lube and then the head was pushing into him and Jim groaned; Spock was big, but he could take it. One of the Vulcan's hands was at the meld points again, and Spock was speaking in Vulcan.

Jim could feel Spock inside his mind, not as an intruder, but as if a piece of himself had been missing and now he was whole again. Spock was finally sheathed inside him and Jim needed him to move, his patience was wearing out and the need for pleasure was rising.

"You can move, please, I need you to move."

Spock obeyed, beginning to thrust into Jim, he quickly found how Jim liked it and adjusted his position and speed to suit his lover, his fingers never leaving the meld points.

They kissed and touched, and soon things sped up as each of them felt their climax building. Jim started to pump himself in time with Spock's thrust, while Spock upped everything a notch, their breathing becoming steadily more rapid. Spock continued to speak Vulcan, his voice becoming more urgent as they reached the peak of orgasm.

It hit Jim first "Ugh, fuck, Spock!" He cried as his body trembled and his back arched.

The bond completed then along with Spock, his eyes opened wide, not only in pleasure, but in realisation "T'hy'la!" He cried, buried deep inside his Jim; his T'hy'la.


End file.
